How not to be dumb #1

Today I broke my golden rule: never run for a train, you look like an idiot.

Even though I've been living in Brunswick for over 18 months, I got my timetable mixed up and arrived just as the train was departing.

There was the momentary "will I, won't I" question followed by the wrong choice: I will.

Train drivers must fucking love checking their rear vision mirrors to see the disapointment dance of not-passengers when the train pulls away.

It's an awkward moment, always shared with a person you made eye contact with on the other side of the glass in the hope that connection could break down walls. Or open doors at least.

You know what? I was right to make that rule. I've had a lovely 15 min rest at the station enjoying the sun and now get to make a grand entrance to class.

Being late makes you cool.

Running for the trains makes you dumb.

That's my lesson #1 for you

And you can quote me on that.

Lately I've been stuck on a really big question:

Is who I am today the person I want to be forever?

I've just finished my book, about faith, hope and love in a broken world. My story is fiction, but the premise is not. I've thought long and hard about the importance of faith, the institution of religion, the value of family and friendship and making peace with God.

Here's the thing though; five years ago, I believed something completely different. Can I submit my book for publishing, knowing that I could be quoted on things I've later changed my mind about?

The way I see it, life is a journey. There are no black and white answers. We take the situations we're presented and we shape our values daily. There are a million things that could happen in the future to change how I see the world, and I find that incredibly exciting.

So no; I don't want to be this person forever. I hope I never stop growing, learning and challenging. I just pray, that by putting my ideas on paper, I still have permission to re-shape them whenever and however I see fit.

Because what is life, if not a journey? And how can we change the world, if we're not allowed to change ourselves? And how can we live at peace if we can't accept our differences?

Or maybe I'm just being paranoid.

Love.