Wednesday, August 18, 2010

finding love in the most unexpected places.

Every young girl has dreams of falling in love. We picture our handsome husband, perfect wedding, amazing wedding dress. Most of us know as we get older, our ideas about what 'handsome', 'perfect' and 'amazing' are change somewhat. Things become more practical, more logical. Instead of family and babies, we think about careers, money, stability.

Today, I found a new love. At Godfreys.

I'd been putting it off for years, my old vacuum used to be excellent, and I kept believing it would make a comeback. I was incredibly defensive when a housemate would suggest we borrow someone else's vacuum. I'd offer to lend it to people and be offended when they declined.

But today, we had our last fight. I put her in the car and made the drive.

I knew when I saw my new love, she was the one. Champagne body, clear tube, small swivel head. No more fights with filters or coat-hangers.

It wasn't the love I'd dreamed of as a little girl, but it was real.

Today I learnt to let go of the things in my life that are broken, but I stubbornly keep believing in:

The set-top box in my linen cupboard that doesn't turn on.
The toaster in the garage with the switch that needs to be held in place.
The beautiful cream couch that is now grey.
The rubbish bin with the broken lid.

Who am I kidding? I just spend $300 of my tax return on a vacuum.

One of the boys can buy a bin.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Why Stupid People Make Me A Bad Person

Firstly, I should clarify what I mean by 'stupid'. I'm talking about those people you meet who are so arrogantly ignorant as to social skills, or any real perception of their place in society. Now that I'm a student again, I'm finding these people everywhere. In my class, in the cafeteria, on the trains to and fro.

The real problem isn't these people, though. They're fine with their ignorance. They find themselves highly intelligent, highly amusing people and they dont realise, or particularly care no-one else does. The problem here is the monster I turn into when left in close quarters with these people.

I like to think of myself as tolerant, kind, non-judgemental. Hell, I've done and seen enough in my life to allow people the right to make their own choices. But these people, these people I want to kill. Seriously. Anyone who refers to themselves as 'class clown' but can't crack a joke, anyone who is determined to 'fight it out' with a teacher, anyone who insits on boring large groups of people by takling loudly about some dribble, these people make me angry. And proper angry.

I sit there and bitch and moan to anyone who will listen about how much they are annoying me. I make fun of them to their faces, but still they think I'm enjoying their company. I become a bad person.

So what's worse? Being arrogantly ignorant, or just being a bitch?

I know the answer, I just dont know how to help it.

God, they're annoying.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

mid-20s crisis

This year is my high-school 10 year reunion, which means I'm old enough to be invited to a 10 year reunion. My facebook has subsequently been inundated with friend requests from my class of 2000 and its super exciting to see what they are all up to. (except now I think facebook has destroyed the concept of the 10 year reunion, we already know who's married, who's fat, who's successful)

Most of the time, I can convince myself I'm happy where I am in life. I decided not to follow the career path led to me by my initial degree, and am now back to full-time study and working in a pub. And it feels good, knowing I'm young and can keep deciding what my dream is, and it doesn't matter how much time it wastes.

But every now and again, I see someone has had another baby, or gorgeous wedding photos, or some amazing job overseas, and I wonder if I've made the right choice.

Why are decisions always perfect on their own, but qualified against others we question them?

One girl in my old class is married with five kids. Five! I think I'm grown up for adopting a dog. Is 30 really the new 20? Or am I deluding myself I can keep on wasting time and get a 'real' job later?

But its okay, really. I know I'm happy, thats the main thing. I love James, I love Shaun, my job, my school. And if I'd taken the 'real' job in the first place I'd never have gotten to find out what I really love, or who I really am.

Besides, if I was in Hollywood, I'd be 40 before I'd be expected to get married and have kids.

Maybe I'll move to LA. Or New York. That sounds grown up.