Times when it's impossible to be feminine

#1 When you're suffering from explosive diarrhea

#2 When you sneeze and accidentally sneeze up snot

#3 When you sneeze and accidentally fart

#4 When someone is performing the hymlic maneuver on you

#5 When you slip on a road grate and land on your back

#6 When a child asks you why you have a moustache

#7 When you're drowning in quicksand

#8 When your dog humps your leg

#9 When competing in an all-you-can-eat-in-30-seconds event

#10 When you throw up in your lap