Giraffes are the new Paris - A life shared in status updates

Five weeks ago I set myself the challenge to go one whole month without Facebook, twitter or Blogspot. I wanted to measure just how much of an important element it had become in my life, so as well as July without social media, I gave up three big loves: dairy, caffeine and alcohol.

Today I report on my findings.

My initial hypothesis was that as a good vegetarian girl, my biggest sense of loss would come from cheese. I was so wrong. Not to be misunderstood, dairy was the hardest vice to give up in that it was all around me. Day 1 I accidentally ate the little chocolate that came with my decaf-tea. Week 3 I brought spinach and ricotta tortellini for a quick dinner. One morning in week 2 I was running late and grabbed James' up'n'go from the fridge. But it wasn't the vice I craved the most.

I spent most of 2010 under the influence of alcohol. Back to full-time study with a part-time job in a pub and no car... You do the math. But since shacking up with the boy we hardly drink at all. James only drinks when he parties, and I don't really do that. = Easy.

Now caffeine is a vice for two reasons, sure the obvious one is coffee, but rest assured a soy hot chocolate is a pretty fine substitute. But Diet Coke has been my crutch for forever. I tried caffiene free Diet-Coke week 1 (don't) and it nearly made me ill. After that I settled for sparkling apple and soda water with lime. Not too hard.

From day 1, my biggest challenge was the overwhelming need to 'check' something. I'd get to work in the morning, put the kettle on, open my inbox and it was there, haunting me. The question that never left my head, the entire 31 days: What's happening? I learned I could quiet this desire with The Australian, The Age and abc.net.au, followed later in the month by Steve's suggestion, Time.com. Before I knew it, I'd developed a second addiction; current affairs. I figure, hey, better to know what's going on in the world than what my old high school chums are having for dinner.

So i survived it. But isn't the biggest lesson I learned.

At some point in the last two years, I have stopped thinking like a normal person, and started thinking about events in my life as status updates. Constantly, I'd hear something, or have some good news, or something stupid would happen and I'd think of a witty one-liner in which to relay such information to my extended network.

And when I didn't get to post a status update, I felt ripped off. Not only for myself, but for everyone else who missed out on my pure genius.



Where to from here?

I'm not going to reinstall the Facebook app on my iPhone. I have access to the internet at home and at work. That'll do. But I did realise that Facebook wasn't the reason I can't walk down the street without playing with my phone. My phone is. So I'm trying to leave it behind more often.

I've accepted Facebook does have a place in my life. I freaked out when James and I had 2 weeks to sell our Splendor tickets and 600+ potential buyers I was ignoring for 2.5 more weeks. WHOOPS! Luckily James knows my password. Thanks baby.

I'm happy not eating as much cheese, or drinking as much alcohol or coffee, and I've given up Diet Coke.

Next challenge; a month without bread and sugar. Because a detox hardly feels like a detox at all when it includes olive sourdough bread with hummus and raspberry licorice. But that can be a month down the track. I owe Anna and Harry a belated Xmas in July.

I can't encourage you all enough to do the same; if not for a month, then a week, and if not for a week, try a day. Remember what life was like before it all got so instant.

PS Hi Matt.

Mind, Body & Soul Detox - July Challenge

On Monday I was walking down Glen Huntly Rd running a work errand. And it happened again. The all-consuming, uncontrollable desire to reach into my handbag, pull out my iPhone and check for Facebook notifications, followed by the equally demanding, equally strong need to refresh my twitter and see if @joshthomas87 had tweeted anything new and hilarious.

I have to admit it now; I'm addicted to social media. No, I don't spend hours a day checking out pages, 'liking' silly anecdotes or chatting to friends. But I do have a need to constantly refresh, and make sure I'm not seconds behind the 8 ball.

Last week I was terribly upset when I thought a best-friend of mine was going through a hard time. Instead of calling him immediately, I spent days worrying before I finally called and found out it was just bad humour on the part of a mutual friend. I hated the thought that if something did happen to my friend, I would find it out on Facebook, and not because he picked up the phone to talk to me about it.

It is for these reasons, and many more, that I am declaring the month of July my Mind, Body & Soul Detox month.

I will not be checking my Facebook page or updating my status, refreshing my twitter feed or posting a blog for the entire 31 days.

To make this more interesting; I'm also going to be giving up Dairy, Alcohol and Caffeine. Why? Mostly because I'm turning into a slob with no self control, but also to see which of these four vices I struggle the most without.

My hypothesis is cheese.

If anyone has any suggestions of other challenges to add, feel free to hit me up. Or anything good I can substitute with (I'm thinking frozen raspberries and hummus and avocado. OOh and sparkling apple juice - YUM).

I'm excited. But then I haven't started yet. Wish me luck!

when life moves too quickly

I don't know when I became one of those people who feel the need to keep absolutely everyone updated on every aspect of their life. Somewhere between MySpace/Facebook/Twitter & Blogspot things didn't seem official until I had broadcast them into cyberspace.

Today I am overwhelmed, because there is too much I feel I 'need' to say. Life is moving so fast for me, even my social networking can't keep up.

Sure I could summarise my activites of the last four weeks in dot points, but what's the point? That's not life. My friends and I don't sit down for coffee and 'catch up' in point form on the seemingly 'important things' we've been up to. We talk about life: how we feel, what's making us smile, what's giving us hope, what we've learned.

So today, I recite no list of accomplishments, no update as to my current employment/financial/social status.

Today I offer my cyber world a thought. The thought that's been in the forefront of my mind and conversations the last 24 hours.

Why don't they just adopt out all the stranded beef cattle until they figure out what to do with them?

James and I will happily add a cow to our new home. I can't promise you can have it back to send to slaughter, BUT STOP COMPLAINING THAT THEY ARE SUFFERING BECAUSE YOU'RE NOW NOT SENDING THEM TO GET TORTURED TO DEATH.

Really, beef export industry, really???? We're supposed to feel bad for the 'stranded' cows because you're NOT sending them to Indonesia??

Sure it's going to cost you money to move them back to somewhere with food. But really? You don't think it's better this way?

I was so proud of the government for making a financially reckless decision in order to make an ethically right one. I am so proud that Australia stood up and said they will not tolerate that level of cruelty. And I am so proud of the ABC and Four Corners for bringing the message to Australia that what comes from us remains our responsibility.

I WILL ADOPT A COW. I want to adopt a cow. Shaun would bloody love it.

End rant.

Social Anarchy #2

A lot has happened since I last blogged. I started a new job, which I quickly realised was the start of a new career (because I don't ever want to leave). I got the loan and insurance approved for my very new car, coming in a few glorious weeks. James and I made the very exciting decision to shack up together when our leases run out next month. Shaun celebrated his first birthday. The Age emailed me with the news they want to publish my article. AND I stumbled upon this sticker in the movie theatre toilet:

'When stub roll finished, push leaver to left for large roll supply'

There is so much I have to say about this.

1 - It's shocking grammar. Really? 'when stub roll finished...' Who talks like that?
2 - Does the leaver push to the right?
3 - How do I know when the stub roll is finished? I mean, what are the signs? I think I need more information.
4 - I'm not sure how the smaller roll feels about being called 'stub' while the larger roll gets called 'large'. Seems very sizest.
5 - It's parading as a sentence, capital letter at the beginning, nouns and verbs and all, but they didn't bother with the full stop. Who does? They're totally overrated

My loyal followers will remember an early blog I posted about instructions on toilet roll holders, and the premise that being told to do something, sometimes makes you want to go and do the opposite. Previously, my toilet roll had instructed me to 'use this roll first', so in an act of total rebellion, I used the other roll.

However, if I'm to rebell against this new instruction in my life, there are too many options to chose from.

For example:
a - I don't wait for the stub roll to finish, I push the lever to the left anyway.
b - When the stub roll is finished, I don't push the lever at all. I leave it for the next person to do - because that's the kind of inconsiderate girl I am.
c - I complete option 'a' and use the large roll supply.
d - I grab a whole handful, run it under the tap, scrunch it and throw it on the ceiling.

I have a confession to make. I was a suck up at school. In fact, I'd probably dob on you.

I never, ever in my life have wet toilet paper, scrunched it up and thrown it at the ceiling. But I promise, if my movie wasn't about to start, reading that damn bossy sign on a toilet roll holder, would have changed who I am.

Don't tell my new bosses. I really love my job.

on the hunt

This week I very suddenly lost my job. I was hard at work 10pm Sunday night, 10am Monday morning it was all over. No more pub. No more Ted. No more Sunday penalty rates. No more knock-off drinks. The official story (if you can call it that) is some kind of landlord/tenant/insurance company botch up but we all know that when a pub like The Grand View Hotel shuts its doors its very unlikely they will re-open at all.

Which is sad. Because that makes this the end of an era.

When I started at the GV, I felt I was finally in the job I was born for. I loved the people I worked with, I loved the regulars. I loved the way I could make someones day better so quickly and easily; by pulling them a beer, or asking how their day was and waiting for their response. The money was good, I pretty much set my own hours and I got to have a chef prepared vegetarian delight 4 nights a week.

Like all dreams, I had to wake from it. My fabulous manager, and BFF Steve, left me, and was never replaced. And a bar without a manager is madness. My friends moved out from upstairs, the chef moved on, the beer stopped flowing and eventually most of my regulars stopped coming in.

And (as I learned the hard way) a job with zero security isn't worth all the perks in the world.

So now I'm on the hunt, for the next job I was born for. If any of you would like to make this all a lot easier for me, and offer to publish my book, or convert my blog into a weekly column, I'd be forever grateful. But reality says I must work, at least for a little longer. And working is so boring.

I think that crisis I didn't have when I turned 26 is happening now. I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do. All I know is it has to be fabulous. So no pressure.

So my darling followers, this week I offer you no advice. No life lessons. This week I'm confused and overwhelmed and a little stressed. And really glad I have a savings account. And really glad I didn't buy a new car last week (I was this close)

Anyone with a fabulous idea hit me up. I'm all ears.

Your friend. (With a lot more time on her hands)

all of me

This weekend I witnessed the pain of failing love; the moment in my friends eyes when they realised that love isn't enough. The moment they realised you can't love enough, can't love the way you want to, because it isn't there.

I write about love a lot. I'm a hopeless romantic for love. I believe in love. I want to see love overcome all. But sometimes it doesn't.

I believe the reason love fails is because its all consuming, or its nothing. To love something you need to love all of something. You can't love nachos if you don't love cheese. You can't love Melbourne if you don't love the rain. You can't love the beach if you don't love sand.

And you can't love a person if you don't love everything about them.

Passion will sustain love for so long, so will excitement, companionship, joy, adventure. But love will leave if you don't accept the person for who they are completely. Accept, and cherish. Accept, and celebrate.

It takes a long time to find all of someone. To discover the small things, the things that make you smile, the things that make you cringe. I've had James in my life for three years now, and I'm still finding all of him, and he's still finding all of me.

When you find something new, love changes. It increases, or it goes away. But it can't stay the same, because in love's eyes, you've changed. There is something more to know, and you can't un-know it.

Once you've heard somebody say something, you can't un-hear it. Once you've seen someone do something, you can't un-see it. But once you've felt something, you can un-feel it.

Love will leave, and when it does, it's because it wasn't there for all of you. And a love that doesn't love all of you, isn't the love you want.

Because that love will come, and it will stay. Because it can't leave. It's yours.